However, there’s something about being in another country that gives me this urge to experience everything. And since Dubai is famous for its indoor ski park, I suited up for what was bound to be a disaster.
Ski Dubai is located in the Mall of the Emirates and is also the first indoor ski resort in the Middle East. They say they have 5 runs (I only saw 2, but I’m not a skier so what do I know) and a snow park where you can things like go tubing or watch penguins.
I paid for a 2 hour slope pass (180 AED, approx $49 USD) and told myself I didn’t need lessons (mistake #1) since I vaguely remembered what I’d learned from the skiing lessons I took when I was 10 years old. Also, ski lessons would cost me extra money and time and how hard could a bunny slope be?
After receiving all of my gear – even a jacket, pants and socks (US ski resorts take note!) I suited up and headed for the slopes!
The fact that I was able to make my way from the door to the ski lift in itself surprised me. I had my iPhone out most of the way, taking pictures so it looked like I was just busy, instead of clumsy. I plopped down on the ski lift and watched myself go higher and higher to what seemed like a never-ending mountain. In retrospect, I don’t think it was really that tall but when you’re attached to two skinny boards and have no sense of coordination to begin with, it’s pretty scary.
I decided to get off at the halfway mark and stood at the top of the slope for about 20 minutes trying to figure out how I was going to make my way down. I saw countless little kids speeding by and nobody was falling, so I gave myself a teenie push off the edge and… WHOOSH!
Suddenly I was sliding down on my butt, poles and legs flailed out in a desperate attempt to stop myself. I think every expletive possible was coming out of my mouth, while the other half of me was praying that I wouldn’t run into anyone. After about 30 feet I managed to stop and realized that I couldn’t move my fingers because they were so cold. I was stranded in the middle of the slope and every time I tried to get up or take my skis off, I would slide down a little further.
After a few minutes of this, a little kid stopped and attempted to help me up. He managed to get one ski off of me and I tried my best to slide my way to the side of the slope, out of harms way. I decided I needed some time to recuperate and regain my composure when the Ski Patrol came up to me and started yelling at me, saying I was in desperate need of ski lessons and that he was going to kick me off the slopes if I couldn’t get it together. He did tell me how to properly stop and I managed to make it down the rest of the hill, practically skiing sideways because I was too afraid to go at any normal speed.
I managed to stay off my butt and slid down the slope a few more times, before braving the ski lift to the top to do the ‘extended bunny slope.’ With the help and coaching of a few Texans, I didn’t fall down again either! I’m pretty sure my horrible ski skills at least provided entertainment for everyone around me, as the staff laughed every time I got back on the lift and I definitely saw people pointing at me while I was sliding down.
After an hour of this nonsense, I’d had enough (and my fingers were swollen and in incredible pain) so I left. Was it fun? Yes. But I have no doubt it would’ve been more fun if I actually knew how to ski, or if I hadn’t been so weak from being hospitalized the day before. I can definitely say one thing though – I’ve never seen anyone ski like me!
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