Mongolian Hospitality

I think we all grow up being taught to never talk to strangers. Don’t give strangers anything, and do not - under any circumstances – stay in a strangers house!

Well in the Mongolian outback, these rules are a bit different.  Thanks to my trusty Lonely Planet guide, I’d read about Mongolians offering strangers the opportunity to stay in their homes.  It said that foreigners – in return, should offer a small gift like batteries, or a few dollars. I just figured the book was outdated, and didn’t expect to experience anything like that during my stint in Mongolia.  Well in Erdenet, those stories became my reality.

Erdenet is a mining town, and the second largest city in Mongolia. We arrived there at dusk, only to find out that there were no guesthouses/ger camps within the city (essential for people traveling on a budget!). Mongolian roads are not ideal to travel on after dark because cities are few and very far between, there’s no pavement, and our guide said that muggings are the norm.  I was traveling with a group of four other guys and after contemplating whether or not to stay in a hotel ($30 a night) – a woman invited us to stay in her ger.  We all realized this might be our first real outlook into true Mongolia life – so we accepted!

A Mongolian ger isn’t my idea of a great place to live. It’s small, crowded, and not the best place for a claustrophobic. The most difficult part for me is my sensitive sense of smell… & the combination of milk tea and dead sheep is a sure recipe for nausea. Ger’s definitely don’t have first world luxuries like toilets, sinks or closets, and there’s no chance of any privacy. However, they’re definitely mobile, and the central fire keeps everyone warm in the coldest of Mongolian nights.

No matter how desolate or remote a Mongolian ger seems to be, they always seem to be equipped with a religious shrine and — a TV. This ger was surrounded by many others, in a sort of ‘ger camp.’  The woman welcomed us in and offered us meat soup with noodles & of course – milk tea.  Since I could eat neither and didn’t want to be rude, I sat to the side and ate small bites of a granola bar without trying to be rude or noticeable, because I didn’t have any more to share. Yes, I know I definitely lose the ‘adventurous traveler’ award for this one, but I know my stomach & what happens when I try to be polite!

We quickly learned that five people usually slept in this ger – the woman, her husband, and three children.  Since the ger did not have room for 10 people to sleep in (even uncomfortably) the woman said they would all sleep in her brother’s ger, which happened to be ‘next door.’ We couldn’t believe that this woman was actually giving up her whole home to us for the night – it really brought the meaning of ‘hospitality’ to another level.

The guys and the Mongolian children played a game with some sheep bones for a while, which was called ‘Shagai’ (I think.)  I found a great video describing the rules of the game via YouTube…

If you’re wondering, no I did not play… Sheep happen to be my favorite animal in the world and I found the game a bit barbaric.  Ingenious – yes. Interesting – also yes.  But it makes me sad to think about what I’m actually playing with!

The five of us went to sleep that night in the warm comfort of this stranger’s ger. We woke up in the morning with our belongings and bodies still perfectly in tact, to the sounds of this generous woman making us all more milk tea. Though no tears were shed at our departure, we all left a few dollars with the woman as a small token of our appreciation for her kindness.

As a solo traveler, I’m not sure how comfortable I would be staying in a stranger’s ger – even if they were as gracious and welcoming as this family was to us. The knowledge that there were four other men with me definitely gave me the ability to let my guard down and experience something that I know I wouldn’t have done on my own terms.  I learned that although we grow up to fear strangers – not all of them are inherently bad.  Sometimes strangers can prove themselves to be some of the kindest people you’ll ever meet.

I’m not posting this to tell all of you that it’s okay to hang out with strangers. In fact, I’d say at least 95% percent of the time it’s more important to listen to the childhood lessons we’ve learned from our parents. You also can’t forget that when in unfamiliar places, its more important than ever to have your guard up and be cautious.  But a stranger can give you the most genuine outlook into the true culture of another group of people.  And that’s one experience that you just can’t buy.